Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
