My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
