I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
