Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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