A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
