I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
