All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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