I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
