The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
