Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
