Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
