R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
