im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
