I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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