My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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