Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
