Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
