Pants 0. Shit 1.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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