My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
