love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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