Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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