im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
