Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
