You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
