There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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