we're blogging at a bar
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
