do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
