so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
