Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
