I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
