dude i'm inner monologue high
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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