Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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