As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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