Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
