shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
