Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
