He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
