SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
