she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
