I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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