She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
