you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
