So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
