I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at about main and main street
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
