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why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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