sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
try to milk me bitch
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
