i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
