So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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