Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
