When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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