sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
