you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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