Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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