he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
