This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
