Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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